Funny Winston Churchill Quotes

Here are some decently funny Winston Churchill quotes for a little light reading. I promise I will write a huge post on health care, however.

When I am abroad I always make it a rule never to criticise or attack the Government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home.

"A sheep in sheep's clothing"
On Clement Attlee

A modest man, who has much to be modest about
On Clement Attlee

"An empty taxi arrived at 10 Downing Street, and when the door was opened, Atlee got out"
On Clement Attlee

"I wish Stanley Baldwin no ill, but it would have been much better if he had never lived"
On Stanley Baldwin

"He occasionally stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened"
On Stanley Baldwin

"He looked at foreign affairs through the wrong end of a municipal drainpipe"
On Neville Chamberlain

Lady Astor to Churchill: "Winston, if you were my husband I would flavour your coffee with poison"
Churchill: "Madam, if I were your husband, I should drink it"

Bessie Braddock to Churchill: "Winston, your drunk!"
Churchill: "Bessie, you're ugly, and tomorrow morning I shall be sober"

"What could you hope to achieve except to be sunk in a bigger and more expensive ship this time"
On Admiral Mountbatten

Have a splendid day!